


Underhelped

by applestain



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Gen, I guess this is just my interpretation of what Dick might have felt, I think this is more of a character piece? not really narrative ... idk how to explain, It is mostly in Dick's perspective but third person, Jason Todd ( is mentioned or implied. Does not make an appearance ), also following the narrative where Dick was never adopted, cusp and end of the robin gig, for more angst, john grayson ( mentioned and history briefly explored), likely not cannon accurate but my dudes they change it so often I cant keep track), or experienced around the time he was fired from being robin., pretty short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 07:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14255961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/applestain/pseuds/applestain
Summary: Angsty look at the sudden decline and destruction of a relationship. It could have been helped if there was communication but bat boys will be stubborn.





	Underhelped

　　 　　 Though their missions were tough, the training could be brutal. Dick still vividly remembered the strain on his muscles, how feeble his arms would feel, heavy and limp after hours of sparring his mentor. The amount of sweat his body produced was surprising even to Dick who was no stranger to hard work and long hours at the gym. His own biological father would have it no different.

　　 　　 John Grayson was not a soft man, he was loving yes, but in many ways he was frightening as well. Tall, and daunting, John had started off in the circus as a strong man. But his dream had long been to swing from the ropes. It took him years to convince Haly he was worthy enough to replace their leading acrobatic team. It was a betrayal on his part, yes, everyone there was family, but John Grayson was never a man that would take any less than what he wanted. It was both a virtue and a shortcoming, everyone knew. But he was well respected by those who remained within the circus and the insult was eventually forgotten.

　　 　　 There were times that Bruce Wayne reminded him of his father. Both were broad men with wide shoulders, and the ability to push others to do what they wanted. Charismatic some would call it, with time, Dick called it manipulative. Part of him was grateful to not have known his own father into adulthood. The thought of hating him in his teens often caused the young acrobat to dream of fights that never happened, and feel anger toward him for things he had never lived long enough to do. But Bruce Wayne was not his father, and he made a point to remind him of that often.

　　 　　 At first, it had not bothered Dick. He still longed for his family, and was grateful that this new guardian, wasn't trying to come between him and the memory of those he lost. But with time, Dick grew more frustrated. And as he did, the rift between them grew as well.

　　 　　 The roughest moments between them were during their training. When he was young, when they had first started,Dick knew his place was beside the bat. He knew his worth, he knew their dynamic and how to operate with him. But that was also when he was naive enough not to understand the world on his own. Naive enough to not have any foundation for his own thoughts. He had assumed that the growth in wisdom would impress his mentor, it would level him and soon he would not only be his second but also a trusted friend. But that had been too much to hope for, too much to ask for and it seemed to only earn him Bruce’s scorn.

　　 　　 Their sparring sessions had grown quiet. What was once filled with his childish laughter and playful antics, now was replaced by thick resentment. His scowls felt heavier on the young robin, and his words more venomous. Whether his manner of speaking had actually changed during that time, Dick could not really recall, but he felt the blows and heard his disappointment. “If your mind is with them, then you shouldn’t even be here.” His words were often matter of fact, unfeeling, and distant, but they never felt as vicious as they started to become. Dick would plead, but the pleading turned to anger and eventually screaming.

　　 　　 The distance between them felt loud, it had its own pulse, and Dick did his best not to let it grow any further. But in doing so, the boy was unknowingly dooming them. He clung to someone he could feel would rather not have him around. Dick knew it, he had heard it and though he had been fired on more than one occasion when he was much younger, the young man knew the next time was going to be the last. It felt like a thick knot had been forming inside his throat. Tightening with each harsh word they’d throw at one another. Dick didn’t want to admit it, but the more they fought, the more he tried to avoid his mentor. In his own way, he thought it would save them. If he avoided him, they wouldn’t fight. If they didn’t fight, Batman wouldn’t get rid of him. It made sense to him but not to who it mattered most.

　　 　　 “Why would I need you?” The older man had managed to say, curtly, one particular night when Dick had felt confident enough to come back. The teen titans had recently fought off Deathstroke the terminator, thanks to Dick’s valuable leadership. Part of him felt more like a man, proud and even wanted to hear a word of praise. It had used to come so easily between them. Bruce would even smile down at him, and Dick would assume one day - maybe the word ‘son’ would slip from him. It would be quiet the first time. Maybe a whisper or misstep. And this way, their bickering would end. Their constant fights, would finally cease. But that was not the case.

　　 　　 Bruce’s attention was scarcely away from his monitor these days, and though Dick thought to feel honored to pull him away from it for a moment, the weight of his words had pulled the knot in his throat enough to leave him stunned and choking. His lips were gaped, and in private moment, safe from the cold pale eyes of his mentor, they trembled before tightening into a line. It took all but a second for Dick to snap. He hardly recognized himself in those moments.

　　 　　 When had he become so bitter? So angry? He knew more than anyone how much he loved Bruce, and perhaps, in some twisted way Bruce knew it as well. It showed in how venomous their barbs were, how they tugged and pulled at one another. And despite spending time away, maybe part of him knew Bruce’s reluctance to accept that Dick had done well with the Titans was his way to tighten his reign on him. His way to keep him close. Was he becoming lonely? Was he missing him? Dick only hoped but did not voice his suspicions. He didn’t want to be mocked for his arrogance, whether or not he was right neither would admit it. They had come too far and pulled too harshly. Whatever tether they had, any last thread, had snapped in an instant and splintered off into something irreparable and irredeemable. Dick had known if it hadn’t been Bruce who relieved him of his Robin duties, Dick would have never done it himself. Was Bruce doing him a favor?

　　 　　 　　  _Hate **me** , so you don't hate yourself. _

　　 　　 Dick didn’t dare think about it. It took him years to even considered it. He was too lost in his lack of balance sending him straight out of grace. Independence didn’t taste as sweetly as he had hoped it would. It left a lingering aftertaste, bitter and at times repulsive. It was easy to hate and continue to feel betrayed. And with time, the wound only festered. Any thought of Bruce sacrificing himself for the good of Dick’s emotional well being had been snuffed out of existence the moment he had seen another don his cape, and heard his former mentor call him son.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration for the fic :  
> Underhelped by Elsiane
> 
> I can't figure out how to put a link to the song.  
> I triedddd. Sorry. But it's on youtube and spotify.


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